I Am Healed!!

If you are reading this blog or are a follower it is either because you love me, {{{thank you}}} and/or you are experiencing similar health issues.

I am not sure which direction this blog will take as I am sharing with you that I am HEALED!! The journey has been long and very hard, as many of you have experienced too. I don't think the journey is over yet, so perhaps the walk out of this healing is what I will be sharing.

Obviously, the work the Lord does in our lives is so multi-faceted and very personal. I say this because it is so hard to put it all into words. And, I know He has a unique plan for each of our lives. But, I do know, if you are a child of God, then wholeness is available for you.

I have heard, sat under and read so much on Divine Healing. I don't know if all of that is irrelevant or just were stepping stones to get to where I am now. When I first was told about this book I totally, and I mean totally blew the idea off. Like I said, I have read so much and I have countless books on healing lining my shelves.

I finally gave it a chance and ordered it. When I opened it up and began reading about the spiritual connection to upwards of 80 percent of all diseases, I was drawn in. When I began to read about my symptoms and the spiritual roots behind them, the light bulb went on and has only grown brighter!! All the puzzle pieces began to come together. So much finally made sense! God was giving me great wisdom and understanding.

We immediately set about getting me to Be In Health in Thomaston, GA. We could not pull it together due to care for all the children. I was crushed. We then decided to do the online program, For My Life and it was awesome! BTW, that turned out to be so much better, as the children were able to follow along and many were healed and set free also!! After reading A More Excellent Way and sitting under more than 32 hours of teaching, being prayed for and delivered, I can say that I am healed! I am slowly seeing my health come back. One little thing that happened today that was so cool was that my pulse was 70!! This is huge, even though it is small in the big scheme of things. Normally my pulse hovers around a very low 48, but today, 70! More than once, too!

I describe it to my husband this way. Imagine being all tied up, gagged and your head wrapped up so you could barely breathe. So, you can't move and are so bound. Now, imagine Someone comes along unties all the ropes, picks you up, removes the wrappings around your head. You can move unhindered, you can breathe! Imagine what that scenario would really feel like.

That is what it feels like to me!! I want to just scream sometimes, I feel so happy, so ME! I want to run outside and do some cartwheels. My strength is coming back. My eyes have been opened to the Truth! I have been set free from so many of the lies and thoughts that made me sick in the first place.

Please, trust me. Trust my heart. Trust what I have been through. Please pray and ask your Father, Who loves you so much, if you should get this book. It is only $16.49 on Amazon and you can get free shipping if you order $25 or more. I promise you, I really think you will not be sorry!! What could it hurt? Haven't you already spent hundreds, maybe thousands of dollars on trying to get well? What is $16 more?

Please email me or even let me know if you have questions and would like to talk on the phone. I would call you anytime.

I hope to share more of what the Truth has done to set this Mama and her whole family free!

Whom the Son sets free, shall be free indeed!

And

You will know the Truth and the Truth will set your free!!

Snapshots of Adrenal Fatigue

Snapshots of Adrenal Fatigue

I have been asked, 'what does adrenal fatigue feel like'. I have a dear friend who always asks what does it look like, how does it feel. She so sweetly wants to understand.

I wanted to share "snapshots" of adrenal fatigue and how it affects me and my family. From what I have read from other people who struggle with a chronic illness, certainly some of these things overlap. Maybe the following will help you understand what somebody in your life might feel.

*I never know just how much energy I will have on any given day. One day I might actually get to do many normal household or parenting things and the next have no energy for anything. I simply cannot plan my days out.


*My heart often aches as I see others, namely my husband, bearing the burdens that I am meant to bear, or having to do all the things I used to be able to do with ease.



*Everywhere I turn, there is a constant reminder of what I am not doing or what I used to do. It can be as simple as a dirty sink or as big as teaching my children school. I will see Brian doing school with the children in the evening, and while I am so thankful he does it, it is one more reminder of what I am not doing.


*Often times I cannot pull the words from the deep recesses of my mind. It is like trying to call one of your children, but calling them the wrong name, only much worse. If you do this, you know how frustrating it can be. I do this several times a day. It takes a tremendous amount of energy just to get the word out of my mouth, only to have it be the wrong word. Thank God my children know me so well, they stop me as they see my frustration and almost always know what I am trying to say.


*All day long I feel like I am barely keeping my head above water emotionally and spiritually. As the day goes on it feels like I am hit wave after wave with emotions. It's like I barely get my feet under me and another wave rolls over me, knocking me down. I'll see my baby, knowing I can't handle training him or playing with him outside . . . or I'll see my grandson, knowing I want to see him more often, but don't have the energy to do so . . . Brian struggling to work, provide, be daddy and mommy . . . seeing the children long to talk to me, but me unable to listen . . .



*I can barely, on a good day, think more than one thing at a time. This, from the queen of multitasking. The frustration of trying to cook a meal, which I used to do without even thinking, now takes great mental focus, and then to have a child walk into the room and want to tell me something! It puts me right over the edge.



*There are days that the exhaustion is so heavy that I almost ache with tiredness. Walking to the bathroom sometimes feels like to far a trip. It feels like I am trying to walk through neck deep mud.

*Most days, it is a constant (non-stop) battle fighting discouragement. The thoughts bombard me one right after the other. This alone can wear me out. I admit, I often just give into the discouragement because I just can't fight it anymore for that moment.




*Self-pity tries to pull me down daily. It is like a vicious attack. It is like I know I am so blessed and have it so much easier or better than someone else, but you still feel miserable. Then, to add insult to injury, I feel such condemnation because I do have it so good, I am not dying of cancer or have lost a husband or . . . 'what is my problem?' I hear in my head.



*I feel so 'lost'. There seems to be no real purpose to my days. I think this one is so hard because so much of who I am is wrapped up in what I do. I am a mama, home school teacher, wife, manager of this home, yet now I can't do all those things. It really shakes me at times as I learn my identity and value is not in what I do.



*No matter how hard I try to plan something out or hope to do something, it usually doesn't happen. So, I give up trying to figure it out, go with the flow, ect., but I just feel so lost. I have no idea what I will be able to handle, or when I might 'crash'. I try to be optimistic, but then I get devastated when I crash.

*One fear I have to battle is that of something really big happening. My body can barely handle the everyday stresses. The thought of something big like, a death, an accident, a major illness, something traumatic happening to someone close to me, strikes fear in me. I see how my body responds to a child screaming, a door slamming, I cannot fathom something big happening. (nor should I, I know ;-)


These are just some of the things that come to my mind as I share little snapshots into my world of adrenal fatigue. I suspect many of you can so totally relate to many of these. For those of you who are healthy and maybe know someone struggling with a physical illness, I pray this gives you some insight that might help you.


One more thing that is so hard. When you see me looking 'normal', make up on and smiling, this does NOT mean everything is all better and I am fine now. It might just be that moment, or I am faking it pretty well, or I will most definitely 'pay' for the energy you are seeing right now, but be assured, everything is not all better.

This is not meant in anyway to come off as complaining. I know we all have sometimes huge struggles we go through. It is just life. God is still beyond good and faithful. I am so richly blessed by being His daughter and I really do have the most amazing life! Hear my heart.

Adrenal Links

I came across a few links that I have not read yet on adrenal fatigue that I thought to pass along. I was trying to find out how much of my beloved T-Tapp I could do since my doctor told me I can only do light walking.



http://www.totalfitness.net/2007%20Jan%20Fitness%20Newsletter.htm

http://www.drnorthrup.com/womenshealth/healthcenter/topic_details.php?topic_id=94

Adrenal Update

The past several days were very difficult. I think my adrenals are tanking again. Last week my doctor mentioned something about them, but didn't adjust my supplements. We were so focused on my thyroid. I have been so, so tired again. I mean I am always tired, I am talking that deep to the core tired that I felt in August/September kind of tired.

On top of that, I was heading into my period, which is coming earlier and earlier lately. I was a mess. Not sleeping, completely exhausted and extremely emotional. By last night it was so bad that I really didn't feel like I could go through this again next month. Like, give me drugs, give me hormones, whatever I don't care anymore, I just want out of this!!!!

Thankfully, today is much better. It is amazing to me how I can feel myself coming back. My husband notices the second I am 'on my way back'. I can tell by tomorrow I should be back to myself again.

I think my adrenals are tanking because I am just taking advantage of any energy I have. I have been making meals for a friend, cooking constantly for this elimination diet, researching, seeking the Lord significantly for wisdom on our family's diet. My mind is never off. Slowing adrenals, pms and an obsessed Mama, not a good combination.

I go to the doctor on Friday, I think something needs to be changed with my adrenal supplements.

Saturday Night Crash

This past week was outrageously busy. With all the cooking and trying to keep everyone in green smoothies and not 'starving', I was constantly on the go. Through into that a few trips to the store for more produce and a doctor appointment, and it was busy!

I am so thankful that I was able to keep up, for the most part. It felt so good to be doing all the 'doing' that needed to be done. It has been months, six to be exact.

I should not have been surprised, when on Saturday night, shortly after dinner I utterly and completely crashed! Exhaustion like I have not felt in a long time filled every cell of my body. I was shocked by how quickly it came over me.

The emotions began to get out of control as the tiredness took hold of me. I began to cry for absolutely no reason other than EVERYTHING felt too big.

I showered, and cried. I got my snuggly clothes, and cried. We went downstairs for our 'date', and I cried. I cried because I love Brian so much. I cried because I was hungry and didn't know what to eat. I cried . . .well, for anything and everything! ;-)

I didn't sleep that well, but not horribly either. I awoke so tired again. I have sort of forgotten that this and worse is how I felt for months! Obviously I need to take it slower, if possible this week.

I need to remember to praise Him for the ALL I was able to do and also praise Him for calling my to rest! That is the hard part. Don't we just want to do and do once given the opportunity? This is a journey. I am still learning how to rest. Just when I think I am getting somewhere with it, I push and push!

It is okay to rest! It is okay to slow! We cannot do it all, nor does HE expect us to. Let's take the burden off of ourselves and joyfully do only what He allows us to!

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: In returning [to Me] and resting [in Me] you shall be saved; in quietness and in [trusting] confidence shall be your strength. . . (Is 30:15)

Christmas With Adrenal Fatigue

This past Christmas was a little different than most years. I cut way back on what "needed" do be done. Truth be told, though, as a Mama, there is still a lot I am responsible for, especially during the holidays!

I was caught off guard a little. Because I have been feeling a little better, I think I just thought I could go about business as usual (even with a reduction in the 'things to do' list) I was wrong. Also, the week before Christmas I ran out of L-Tryptophan, one of the supplements that I take. I stubbornly refused to buy more because I am getting weary of needing so many supplements and the cost is bugging me. On top of that, at what point do I just totally rely on Christ as my healer and strength! Notice, it wasn't a "Spirit-led" decision to stop the supplements?

Each night I would tell Brian something doesn't feel right. I felt like I was 'slipping' somehow. It wasn't until I totally crashed emotionally one night that he realized it had been a week without the tryptophan. We did go out the next day and buy some. ;-) When I told my doctor, he said, "when you need tryptophan, you need it." So next time I shouldn't be so foolish and rash.

It is hard to explain how the holidays felt with adrenal fatigue, but I will try. I have excitement and joy inside, though not as much as usual, but it just doesn't seem to come out. I don't have the energy to muster up excitement. It was like watching the holidays happen through a foggy lens. I was thankful and realized how unbelievably blessed we are, but it just sort of feels 'muted' or stifled somehow.

I wanted to be excited and joyful for the children's sake. They were so excited. They love to give more than receive. I just sort of felt like a bump on the log some of the time.

Brian and the children did SO much of what needed to be done. I am so thankful. Even with doing way less and them doing so much, it was still too much. How is this????

It was a special time, just a subdued special time. Does that make sense?

BTW, the tryptophan has seemed to 'right the ship' some. I take 1- 500 mg in the morning and 2- 500 mg before bed. I don't think tryptophan is the cure all, but it has helped some. I still marvel at the exhaustion at times.

Oh, and I realized that I was doing WAY too much for exercise and have since cut back again. It is hard not to get into the let's lose inches/pounds mode and stay in healing and restoring mode. Exercise is extremely beneficial to adrenal fatigue, but it needs to be moderate. Probably something most adrenal fatigue people know little about, moderation that is. ;-) I do believe part of me feeling somewhat better the past 3-4 weeks is directly related to exercising again. T-Tapp is my exercise of choice. It is amazing!!!!!

Monday, August 24, 2009

Sunday night was probably the worst I have slept in weeks. It was what has been normal for me for the past several years, but lately I have been better. I was up every 2-3 hours.

I woke up feeling a little better this morning. I did T-Tapp More workout, which felt great.

I ate eggs and oatmeal for breakfast and played with my baby for an hour on the floor.

I got very tired and took a nap around 10:30. I was so anxious and had a hard time sleeping because of it. I wondered if this was a 'paradoxical reaction'.

Had dr. appt., took me off Organic 15, tested bad for it (again after testing good last week)
*gave me a B vitamin to take 2 pills every hour and let him know how I feel tomorrow.

Had a terrible afternoon, felt about as bad as I have since this all started.

Better now (7:30 pm) Family is gone to Costco. The quiet is nice, but I miss them.

Adrenal Resources

A couple of thoughts from all I have been reading on adrenal fatigue.

Any one of the incidents I mentioned in my last post can cause adrenal fatigue.

Surely, what has happened to me in the last 5-6 weeks has set me on a fast track to reaching Adrenal Exhaustion.

Here are a couple of websites that I found helpful explaining the symptoms of Adrenal Fatigue

30 Symptoms of Adrenal Fatigue

Adrenal Fatigue Center

A book that I bought a long time ago that I wish I had paid more attention to is called

Adrenal Fatigue: The 21st century stess syndrome

I do think this book is very helpful for informing you and the very early stages of adrenal fatigue. Please listen to what the man says before it is too late. I believe that the stage I am in is too late for self-directed care, but those in the early stages would probably greatly benefit from the information from this book. Extremely well written and easy to understand.

How It All Began

I decided to start this blog to journal this journey the Lord has me on toward healing. I have no idea if I will even have time or energy to post or even how often, but here goes.

I have Adrenal Fatigue, actually Adrenal Exhaustion (stage 3). This is probably the best description that I have found of Adrenal Exhaustion.

I will try not to bore you with my health history, but I feel it is important to share the details in the hope that other women might see themselves and seek treatment. My heart is for women, especially Mamas, to be informed and healthy. There is so much misinformation out there and I wish I knew 20 years ago what I know now.

I am 43 years old, extremely happily married and a mama to nine children here on earth as well as five in heaven.

Facts I believe have contributed to or caused my Adrenal Fatigue:

*eating according to the Standard American Diet (SAD) for most of my life.

*several babies and c-sections (while not taking care of myself nutritionally) I would NEVER blame having babies for the Lord for my sickness! It was how I took care of myself, not having the babies!!

*always 'pushing through' even against medical advice.

*in the year 2000, our family experienced a horrible trauma that continued on for about five or six years, and in all reality, continues on a smaller scale to this day. The extreme stress of those years took a significant toll on my body. I continued on with life as usual, what else could I do with several children and homeschooling?

*chronic pain for the last 10 years.

*unable to sleep more than 2-3 hours at a time

My doctor has been passively treating me for Adrenal Fatigue for several years now. Nothing real serious, just sort of keeping me going.

Something changed as of July 17, 2009.

After eating out the night before ( don't know if this is relevant, had horrible chicken) the following day I was very sick to my stomach and extremely weak. To the point of not being able to exercise, which is very unusual for me.

This nausea, weakness and dizziness continued on for about two weeks off and on. We wondered if it was an ectopic pregnancy. I finally had blood work done that really showed nothing.

Severe diarrhea started out of the blue and lasted for about 4 days. When I say severe, I mean 10-15 times a day, especially after I ate.

This left me very weak and dehydrated. The nausea and dizziness continued on.

Then major unexplained anxiety attacks as well extremely emotional. Crying at everything and nothing at the same time.

Four days later I went to my doctor and he gave me some natural supplements to support the apparent hormone issues as well as my adrenals. I actually went from bad to worse as the week went on.

I woke with a severe pain in my neck on Sunday, August 9, 2009. Monday I went to my doctor, he adjusted my neck and tested me for all the supplements I was on. My body was basically screaming NO to most of the supplements I was on, including the ones just a week earlier I tested strong on. This at first seemed odd, but now makes perfect sense as I see my body was shutting down and had a "paradoxical reaction" to the new supplements I was on.

The pain in my neck would not heal, I continued to be very emotional and anxious. It felt like I was inside my body, but I was somehow removed. I am sure it is some form of depression, but it is really wierd. For the first time in my life I simply could not push through. It was not because I didn't want to, but I just could not!

I am still very tired, weak and emotional.

I went to the doctors again a couple of days later, added some different supplements, adjusted my neck again.

For the next two days my dear sweet husband took me away to a hotel to rest and be away from the stress and my wonderful mother took care of the children while we were gone. I rested and slept and cried. After the first day my anxiousness settled down some.

When I came home I was able to have an enjoyable afternoon with the children and took a 2 hour nap, which was unusual for me, as I have only been able to sleep for 20-30 minutes at a time. My neck did start to feel better, finally. I did find out later that unexplained neck or upper back pain is part of this deal.

I also have begun to notice some hair loss, not handfuls by any stretch of the imagination, but way more than I ever do. I don't even lose hair postpartum.

Two other facts that may or may not be relevent are that I have, for the first time in my life, missed my period last month. I mean the first time that I was not pregnant. ;-)

Also, two days before all of this started I finished my second round of a Modified Simeons Diet that my doctor put me on to not only help me lose weight that I absolutely could not no matter how clean my diet has been for years and no matter how much I exercised, but to also heal my pituitary gland. (please don't ask about this diet as it is something him and a collegue of his came up with, it is not available from other doctors as far as I know)

While I one thousand percent trust the Lord lead me to do this, I do wonder if the rapid weight loss and strict diet, though very organic and healthful, in some way was too much stress for my body to handle.

During this exact time frame someone extremely close to me was going through some very significant marital problems and this began to affect me physically more than ever before. Also, God basically offered to 'give' us our dream of living on a farm in Kentucky. So, I don't know if all the stress involved with these two things played a part in this acceleration of my adrenal fatigue or not. Surely it couldn't have helped.

This is just the physical aspect of this journey. There is much more spiritual applications that I hope to share. I don't know about you, but with me and God it is never as simple as one dimension.