Empty

Okay, I finally found a word that describes what it feels like, this adrenal fatigue. It is EMPTY. At least that is what it feels like right now ;-) (it can change often)

I am here, buy I don't feel like I am here.

I know I have much to be thankful and am, really, but it just feels so empty.

I am joyful, in a way, deep down, but it still feels empty.

Things that I LOVE, like the snow falling, a fire in the fireplace, my precious children, my awesome husband, well, while I still LOVE them, it just sort of feels empty.

I feel like I am just going through the motions. I miss FEELING things, besides sadness, heaviness and discouragement, that is.

I miss ME! I am usually joyful, vibrant, energetic, chipper, happy, bubbly, positive . . . I miss ME! I miss feeling like I was created.

I don't want to be complaining, really I am not! I am thankful for where I am at. I know it is by His hand and I praise Him for, I really, really do. It is just so hard sometimes. I don't like when I get like this. I like it when I just focus on the right now, which is usually too much, but still gives me something to focus on ;-)

So, for right now, EMPTY and missing ME, that is how I feel.

Lamentations 3:19-33

[O Lord] remember [earnestly] my affliction and my misery, my wandering and my outcast state, the wormwood and the gall.

My soul has them continually in remembrance and is bowed down within me.

But this I recall and therefore have I hope and expectation:

It is because of the Lord's mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His [tender] compassions fail not.

They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness.

The Lord is my portion or share, says my living being (my inner self); therefore will I hope in Him and wait expectantly for Him.

The Lord is good to those who wait hopefully and expectantly for Him, to those who seek Him [inquire of and for Him and require Him by right of necessity and on the authority of God's word].

It is good that one should hope in and wait quietly for the salvation (the safety and ease) of the Lord.

It is good for a man that he should bear the yoke [of divine disciplinary dealings] in his youth.

Let him sit alone uncomplaining and keeping silent [in hope], because [God] has laid [the yoke] upon him [for his benefit].

Let him put his mouth in the dust [in abject recognition of his unworthiness]--there may yet be hope.

Let him give his cheek to the One Who smites him [even through His human agents]; let him be filled [full] with [men's] reproach [in meekness].

For the Lord will not cast off forever!

But though He causes grief, yet will He be moved to compassion according to the multitude of His loving-kindness and tender mercy.

For He does not willingly and from His heart afflict or grieve the children of men.

Looking forward to new mercies tomorrow! ;-)