Friday, May 21, 2010

I Am Healed!!

If you are reading this blog or are a follower it is either because you love me, {{{thank you}}} and/or you are experiencing similar health issues.

I am not sure which direction this blog will take as I am sharing with you that I am HEALED!! The journey has been long and very hard, as many of you have experienced too. I don't think the journey is over yet, so perhaps the walk out of this healing is what I will be sharing.

Obviously, the work the Lord does in our lives is so multi-faceted and very personal. I say this because it is so hard to put it all into words. And, I know He has a unique plan for each of our lives. But, I do know, if you are a child of God, then wholeness is available for you.

I have heard, sat under and read so much on Divine Healing. I don't know if all of that is irrelevant or just were stepping stones to get to where I am now. When I first was told about this book I totally, and I mean totally blew the idea off. Like I said, I have read so much and I have countless books on healing lining my shelves.

I finally gave it a chance and ordered it. When I opened it up and began reading about the spiritual connection to upwards of 80 percent of all diseases, I was drawn in. When I began to read about my symptoms and the spiritual roots behind them, the light bulb went on and has only grown brighter!! All the puzzle pieces began to come together. So much finally made sense! God was giving me great wisdom and understanding.

We immediately set about getting me to Be In Health in Thomaston, GA. We could not pull it together due to care for all the children. I was crushed. We then decided to do the online program, For My Life and it was awesome! BTW, that turned out to be so much better, as the children were able to follow along and many were healed and set free also!! After reading A More Excellent Way and sitting under more than 32 hours of teaching, being prayed for and delivered, I can say that I am healed! I am slowly seeing my health come back. One little thing that happened today that was so cool was that my pulse was 70!! This is huge, even though it is small in the big scheme of things. Normally my pulse hovers around a very low 48, but today, 70! More than once, too!
I describe it to my husband this way. Imagine being all tied up, gagged and your head wrapped up so you could barely breathe. So, you can't move and are so bound. Now, imagine Someone comes along unties all the ropes, picks you up, removes the wrappings around your head. You can move unhindered, you can breathe! Imagine what that scenario would really feel like.

That is what it feels like to me!! I want to just scream sometimes, I feel so happy, so ME! I want to run outside and do some cartwheels. My strength is coming back. My eyes have been opened to the Truth! I have been set free from so many of the lies and thoughts that made me sick in the first place.

Please, trust me. Trust my heart. Trust what I have been through. Please pray and ask your Father, Who loves you so much, if you should get this book. It is only $16.49 on Amazon and you can get free shipping if you order $25 or more. I promise you, I really think you will not be sorry!! What could it hurt? Haven't you already spent hundreds, maybe thousands of dollars on trying to get well? What is $16 more?

Please email me or even let me know if you have questions and would like to talk on the phone. I would call you anytime.

I hope to share more of what the Truth has done to set this Mama and her whole family free!

Whom the Son sets free, shall be free indeed!


You will know the Truth and the Truth will set your free!!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Snapshots of Adrenal Fatigue

Snapshots of Adrenal Fatigue

I have been asked, 'what does adrenal fatigue feel like'. I have a dear friend who always asks what does it look like, how does it feel. She so sweetly wants to understand.

I wanted to share "snapshots" of adrenal fatigue and how it affects me and my family. From what I have read from other people who struggle with a chronic illness, certainly some of these things overlap. Maybe the following will help you understand what somebody in your life might feel.

*I never know just how much energy I will have on any given day. One day I might actually get to do many normal household or parenting things and the next have no energy for anything. I simply cannot plan my days out.

*My heart often aches as I see others, namely my husband, bearing the burdens that I am meant to bear, or having to do all the things I used to be able to do with ease.

*Everywhere I turn, there is a constant reminder of what I am not doing or what I used to do. It can be as simple as a dirty sink or as big as teaching my children school. I will see Brian doing school with the children in the evening, and while I am so thankful he does it, it is one more reminder of what I am not doing.

*Often times I cannot pull the words from the deep recesses of my mind. It is like trying to call one of your children, but calling them the wrong name, only much worse. If you do this, you know how frustrating it can be. I do this several times a day. It takes a tremendous amount of energy just to get the word out of my mouth, only to have it be the wrong word. Thank God my children know me so well, they stop me as they see my frustration and almost always know what I am trying to say.

*All day long I feel like I am barely keeping my head above water emotionally and spiritually. As the day goes on it feels like I am hit wave after wave with emotions. It's like I barely get my feet under me and another wave rolls over me, knocking me down. I'll see my baby, knowing I can't handle training him or playing with him outside . . . or I'll see my grandson, knowing I want to see him more often, but don't have the energy to do so . . . Brian struggling to work, provide, be daddy and mommy . . . seeing the children long to talk to me, but me unable to listen . . .

*I can barely, on a good day, think more than one thing at a time. This, from the queen of multitasking. The frustration of trying to cook a meal, which I used to do without even thinking, now takes great mental focus, and then to have a child walk into the room and want to tell me something! It puts me right over the edge.

*There are days that the exhaustion is so heavy that I almost ache with tiredness. Walking to the bathroom sometimes feels like to far a trip. It feels like I am trying to walk through neck deep mud.

*Most days, it is a constant (non-stop) battle fighting discouragement. The thoughts bombard me one right after the other. This alone can wear me out. I admit, I often just give into the discouragement because I just can't fight it anymore for that moment.

*Self-pity tries to pull me down daily. It is like a vicious attack. It is like I know I am so blessed and have it so much easier or better than someone else, but you still feel miserable. Then, to add insult to injury, I feel such condemnation because I do have it so good, I am not dying of cancer or have lost a husband or . . . 'what is my problem?' I hear in my head.

*I feel so 'lost'. There seems to be no real purpose to my days. I think this one is so hard because so much of who I am is wrapped up in what I do. I am a mama, home school teacher, wife, manager of this home, yet now I can't do all those things. It really shakes me at times as I learn my identity and value is not in what I do.

*No matter how hard I try to plan something out or hope to do something, it usually doesn't happen. So, I give up trying to figure it out, go with the flow, ect., but I just feel so lost. I have no idea what I will be able to handle, or when I might 'crash'. I try to be optimistic, but then I get devastated when I crash.

*One fear I have to battle is that of something really big happening. My body can barely handle the everyday stresses. The thought of something big like, a death, an accident, a major illness, something traumatic happening to someone close to me, strikes fear in me. I see how my body responds to a child screaming, a door slamming, I cannot fathom something big happening. (nor should I, I know ;-)

These are just some of the things that come to my mind as I share little snapshots into my world of adrenal fatigue. I suspect many of you can so totally relate to many of these. For those of you who are healthy and maybe know someone struggling with a physical illness, I pray this gives you some insight that might help you.

One more thing that is so hard. When you see me looking 'normal', make up on and smiling, this does NOT mean everything is all better and I am fine now. It might just be that moment, or I am faking it pretty well, or I will most definitely 'pay' for the energy you are seeing right now, but be assured, everything is not all better.

This is not meant in anyway to come off as complaining. I know we all have sometimes huge struggles we go through. It is just life. God is still beyond good and faithful. I am so richly blessed by being His daughter and I really do have the most amazing life! Hear my heart.

Huge Crash! Update

Whew!!! Has this been a rough go of it! This particular 'crash' was as bad as it was in the beginning. This whole week the children have been at my Mom's or my friend's house. Praise the Lord! Brian was willing to take the week off if need be, but the Lord provided. It only adds to the stress for me if they are not well taken care of and well loved while I am sick.

The exhaustion was extreme! One of the days I could nothing but lie in bed and dose in and out. The other days I played around on the computer or watched some TV. Funny, I have always dreamed of having the house to myself, not quite what I had in mind. Oh, the things I would accomplish! Not so much this week. Brian reminded me that RESTING is indeed doing something! To stop feeling like I am doing nothing. I am giving my body a rest!

My most recent blood work came back today and it was sort of encouraging, I guess. I am still a little confused as to what it all means, but it does verify and validify some things and for that I am thankful. So much went on in the appointment that was in the middle of the afternoon (not my best time ;-) and I was so out of it. Brian tried to keep up, but some of it just goes over his head. I wish we had tape recorded so I could listen over and over.

My progesterone level is still way too low and I am increasing what I am taking.

I do have Epstein Barr. My doctor suspected that I am fighting something that is flying under the radar, as no matter what we do I can't seem to get on top of it. If all we were dealing with here was low functioning adrenals and thyroid and low progesterone levels I should be feeling somewhat better and not be crashing so severely for no apparent reason.

I also had a TPO test which tells you if you thyroid is attacking itself. I was so sure this would be normal (as I was sure I didn't have Epstein Barr, goes to show what I know) but it was 33 and the high end of the normal range is 34. So, we are not sure what this means, but it is interesting and will watch it.

I am also having all kinds of 'gut' issues and when I reminded him that this all started last July with some big tummy troubles a light bulb went off over him! I think, he thinks, I am riding some wave of infection that is putting a huge drain on my already exhausted glandular system. He said it is like trying to fill up the bathtub while the drain is open.

My blood work does NOT indicate any real food sensitivities or parasites, but it does show a compromised immune system. He gave me some really strong probiotics and is going to do things to support my immune system. He did tell me to be prepared for some pretty awful feeling from the possible 'die off' in my gut. I said, "define awful, because I can't imagine feeling much worse." He laughed and said I would know.

When I went haywire last week he told Brian to increase my adrenal supplement from 1 (one) a day to 3 (three) in the morning and 3(three) more at noon. As the week progressed I think that helped. This was a huge jump and goes to show how drained and not functioning they are.

On the spiritual side:
On Monday I was very discouraged and still holding on so tightly to healing. Trying to figure it out! Wrestling with God, Brian and my doctor, mostly in mind! ;-) The Lord so ministered to me that day through His word. I have had lots of time for 'quiet time' with Him, which has been wonderful! I believe He showed me once again how NOT surrendered and NOT trusting Him I was in this situation. He has shown me over and over. I think I get it only to be right back there again. I feel like He gives me some great revelation and I walk in it for awhile, then it is tested and I lose it all over again.

Something seems different this time. It feels like supernatural peace. I told Him that I couldn't release it, that I was afraid that if I didn't at least do my part and try to figure this out I might stay sick forever. I told Him I needed His grace, I couldn't do it anymore, I didn't know how to release it, I would need Him to do it for me. When I confessed that I realized how I was not trusting in Him but myself to make sure everything was taken care, something just released inside. I don't know if I am explaining it well, but it was huge!

I felt such peace at the doctors this Friday, so in God's hands, so not needing to figure everything out, so restful. That is probably why for the first time I don't really remember everything that went on, I was so in my Father's hands. The really cool thing?? The whole 'root' if you will, of all that is wrong with me is 'stress, anxiety and fear' based. Funny, huh?

He is bringing about healing and deliverance, I know He is! It is so much more than just a physical thing. As badly as I want to be healthy, I don't want to be physically healthy but spiritually sick. Do you know what I mean? I don't want all we have been through in the last nine months to be for nothing. I want to receive all He has for me spiritually too.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Update 3/31/10

I have had some pretty big crashes, BUT my hope is that they were simply PMS related versus being another adrenal crash! The week leading up to my period was very bad, emotional and I was physically exhausted like in the past.

It is like you can feel the energy just drain from every muscle! I also bled through day 4 which I think is an improvement. I have read several places that one of the idiosyncrasies with adrenal fatigue is that your flow completely stops on day 4. Weird, hug? Well mine always stopped on day 4. Not this time!

I started to feel better by Sunday, we actually had people over, which we haven't in more than 9 months, and I was fine. But, on Monday I completely collapsed, emotionally and physically. I don't know if I would have anyway or having company over was too much or it was a deviation in my diet??? Seems you can never tell with me.

I have been feeling like the Lord is leading me to 'amp' up my diet. Meaning be more intentional. I am thinking to add in liver (pray for me ;-) being even more strict with not even eating dried fruits, eating more beef, cooked long and slow and in some cases as rare as I can eat it. Also increasing raw veggies, which I do a lot of already. I am going to juice as well as green smoothies.

Actually, I have been juicing and love this combo, it is almost addicting!

A friend led me to this great and helpful blog called, Annie's Health Place. Hope it is helpful to you!

Kale or Spinach

So yummy! I drink about 16 oz a day. I don't seem to have room in my belly for all the good things I want to put in it. Since doing the juice thing I think I am craving more raw foods and cooked foods sort of gross me out. This happened when I first introduced green smoothies too.

I am walking 30 minutes every day, slowly, per my doctors instructions. I don't like the slowly part. I like to really hit it, really give it my all, push myself . . .hmmmm, maybe that's why I have adrenal fatigue ;-)

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Update 3/20/10

Wow! It has been a long time since I have updated. I have been slowly getting better, but it was very rough again for awhile there.

I have been on the progesterone for about three weeks and I 'think' I am finally feeling the results. The emotions became more controllable. I became stronger and stronger each day. I have been back to working out slowly. And this week I was able to do the whole workout and actually felt strong like I used to. Well, not quite as strong, but so much better than I have been!

I have had some 'paradoxical' reactions to the progesterone that we now believe were caused from starting at to high of a dose. I began to retain fluids, my weight went up 3-5 pounds, which freaked me out, I was anxious and 'racy' and slept horribly! I finally read that those are paradoxical symptoms and that has brought some peace. The 'cure' is to just back off a little on the progesterone and slowly increase it.

As of right now we are not going to address my thyroid, any more than supplements, or my adrenals until we see how I do with the progesterone. I really think that once those levels come up my cortisol and thyroid numbers will come up too. I am hoping, anyway ;-)

I found this article called the Adrenal Fatigue Fix and thought it was helpful. I was happy to see that I am doing everything right with 'diet'.

I hope and pray you all are doing well and finding your way with your health struggles. I know it is so hard, but I also know that God has a plan that I need to learn and rest in. Praying you also find this rest.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Hope on the Horizon

I am still doing terribly, but I was encouraged by my doctor appt. this week. He went over my bloodwork and was very hopeful for a turn around with how I feel.

First, he said I was extremely healthy! Which is good I guess, but also frustrating because I feel so bad. But he meant, as a whole, I am healthy, just need some fine tuning. ;-)

My bloodwork showed very low levels of progesterone, low cortisol and my T3 and T4 are low. My testosterone is also low. It appears as though my FSH shows that I am in the early stages of perimenopause.

I have started progesterone cream and added a different thyroid supplement. We are going to see if this helps with the other things before we add something else in. Just what I love, taking it slowly ;-) If the progesterone doesn't help enough we will address possible hormone supplementation for my adrenals and some testosterone. I told him that I don't need any more hair on my chin or anymore anger issues. He laughed and said, ' don't worry, you will only have hair on your chest.' Cute.

He said that my poor pituitary and adrenal glands are struggling so hard to keep up and the progesterone might just provide the break they need. This made me cry, the thought of these very important glands trying so hard to do everything I need them to do but not having what they need to do it. I know, just a bit emotional. I guess I feel like I am struggling so hard just to keep up and the progesterone might just provide the support and break I need.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Still Not Great

I just read over my past posts to see when this recent downhill trend started. Around the first of February. So, going on three weeks.

This past week was probably the worst in the past three weeks. I needed the kids out of the house. Thank you to my dear friend Mary who had them all day Monday. Tuesday my son brought them to piano instead of piano teacher coming here. Wednesday I met my friend, Mary for coffee and a visit. I was exhausted and felt so lifeless. When I got home the children asked if I had a good time and all I could muster was, 'yes, I guess so.' I was immediately reminded of how 'dead' Christmas felt, so emotionless and passionless. Makes me sad, as I am a passionate, excited person, usually.

My dr. appt. was strange this week as he removed all of my B-vitamins from me because my body was testing so bad with them. He said my adrenals and pituitary need more support, but he only wants to adjust one thing at a time. Great, because I have all the time in the world to wait. Just kidding.

I had my blood work done and received my copy today in the mail. Very fast. Not much pops off the paper to me, then of course I am not a doctor, but I play one on TV. LOL My progesterone looks low and my cortisol looks low. My doctor is good at reading these as he sort of reads between the lines where as my medical doctor just looks at the numbers and prescribes anti-depressants and hormones! I can't wait to hear what my 'natural' doctor has to say. I really hope there is something we can do.

I am really discouraged, as I thought setbacks this big were behind me. So much of this feels like I did in Aug/Sept. though not quite as bad.

We shall see. God continues to speak volumes to me, giving me 'treasures in darkness' that I hope to one day be able to share with people. I wish I had the strength and time to type all He is showing me about my heart. Someday, Lord willing.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Adrenal Links

I came across a few links that I have not read yet on adrenal fatigue that I thought to pass along. I was trying to find out how much of my beloved T-Tapp I could do since my doctor told me I can only do light walking.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Not Doing So Great

Sorry I haven't updated lately, I am not doing so great. The last couple of weeks have been about survival again. Just this past week my doctor had to adjust my supplements again as my adrenals are functioning pretty low again. Also, I have had extremely severe blood sugar issues. On Thursday night I was actually contemplating going to the hospital (though I know there wasn't much they could do) because the hypoglycemic symptoms were so severe I actually wondered if I would wake up after falling asleep!

No worries though, as usual I slept horribly and was up doing to the bathroom about every hour ;-)

I need to eat every two hours (small amounts) and if I feel symptoms my doctor said I have waited too long. I can't wait for hunger anymore, it will be too late. I then chase the blood sugar the rest of the day only to never really catch it.

I just read my last update and see that yes, indeed I was right, my adrenals were tanking. I love when I am right and can read my body so well!

This does play into my fear of gaining weight some, but I know it is wrong thinking. I eat so little as it is, all this means is to divide it up and eat it every two hours. Even just a couple of bites of something. This is hard because I feel like I am always eating and always full which makes me feel like I will gain, but I need to trust God and let go of the illusion of control in one more area!

I do have some blood work ordered and can't wait to see what that has to say. I am sure progesterone is needed greatly and this will verify that! Also, the possibility of needing some thyroid supplementation, though that seems better for now. At least I am not freezing all the time, but my pulse is still very low as well as blood pressure.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Adrenal Update

The past several days were very difficult. I think my adrenals are tanking again. Last week my doctor mentioned something about them, but didn't adjust my supplements. We were so focused on my thyroid. I have been so, so tired again. I mean I am always tired, I am talking that deep to the core tired that I felt in August/September kind of tired.

On top of that, I was heading into my period, which is coming earlier and earlier lately. I was a mess. Not sleeping, completely exhausted and extremely emotional. By last night it was so bad that I really didn't feel like I could go through this again next month. Like, give me drugs, give me hormones, whatever I don't care anymore, I just want out of this!!!!

Thankfully, today is much better. It is amazing to me how I can feel myself coming back. My husband notices the second I am 'on my way back'. I can tell by tomorrow I should be back to myself again.

I think my adrenals are tanking because I am just taking advantage of any energy I have. I have been making meals for a friend, cooking constantly for this elimination diet, researching, seeking the Lord significantly for wisdom on our family's diet. My mind is never off. Slowing adrenals, pms and an obsessed Mama, not a good combination.

I go to the doctor on Friday, I think something needs to be changed with my adrenal supplements.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Thyroid update

My thyroid continues to function slowly! My pulse is 48! Way low! My BP is 90s / 50s, very low. Temps still low. I thought my pulse was getting better, it was 52 for three days, but is back down again.

I continue to take the supplements my doctor has me on. He increased one of them this past week. I continue to exercise to my best ability. I love T-Tapp!!! At times I feel I am getting stronger.

My diet continues to be extremely clean, but very low in calories it seems. My doctor says this is fine as this is what my body needs right now and to now worry about not eating enough or getting enough nutrients.

My weight remains the same and even a pound or two less, which is nothing short of miraculous with hypothyroidism!! Praising God for that!

I do anywhere from 20-40 minutes of T-Tapp each day. (five days)

My daily diet?

1 Quart green smoothie (spread throughout day)
2 egg yolks/1 egg with about 1/2 cup butternut squash
Sunflower seeds (soaked and dried)
Some bites of fish, chicken or beef and some raw salad (cabbage this past week)
Small amount of meat and veggies at dinner
1/2 grapefruit and kombucha at night.

I continue to be concerned about raw cruciferous vegetables. I have read they are goitergenic which slows the absorption of iodine, I think. Our thyroid needs iodine. I am just not convinced I should not be eating these raw. I drives me batty that God created these for food!! I know there are tons of benefits to raw, like enzymes. So I continue to pray for wisdom and HIS leading for ME. I also make sure I rotate my greens.

For example:
M- Spinach
T- Romaine
W- Kale
Th- Red Leaf
Sa- Escarole
Su. Romaine

I also feel like I crave salads right now, especially this cabbage salad. So, what do I do with that?

Shredded purple and green cabbage
poppy seed
shredded apple
vinegar, maple syrup (tiny amt.), olive oil,
S and P
Sunflower seeds on top



Day 20 of Elimination Diet

Well, we are on day 20! It is getting easier as I have been able to add in tomatoes! Apparently most of my cooking involves tomatoes! Our flavor profile appears to be Mexican and Italian.

My Isabella, with pretty bad eczema is actually doing worse. This is disheartening a little because I don't know if she is just having a bad day with it, or was something she ate, or she is detoxing . . .I just feel sort of helpless! I pray continually for wisdom. For now I am going to take back out nightshades for her, but something tells me this is not it.

We still do not have the big bad things in, like wheat, corn, gluten, dairy, eggs. My doctor says you need to have these out for AT LEAST 21 days before you can tell anything. So we shall see. Also, my other daughter outgrew her eczema, so who knows.

This diet has moved us to take our diet to a whole new level. It has opened the children up to new ideas in food. We closely follow Nourishing Traditions principles and have really taken it to a new level. We already did great, but I think there is always room for improvement.

Eggs and dairy have to come in first for us, as we have a bazillion eggs from our chickens and we have a cow share that is on hold. We are going to wait until next week to add them in slowly though.

My Blendtec is coming tomorrow!! I can't wait. I have made approximately 180 smoothies in my Bosch blender since we started this. I make six blenderfuls a day, hopefully the Blendtec will cut that in half! Yeah!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Mama Left and Now She Is Back!

Since my crash on Saturday I have not been well. The exhaustion returned. You know, not the just tired, but exhausted! Also, I stopped sleeping and a heaviness descended on me. It lasted about four days. I also was a time in my cycle, days 8-11 that are usually weird hormone type days. I also had a headache each of those days and spotted a bit, which tells me it is 'female' hormone related.

Today, like a switch, I was back! The weight lifted, no headaches and I slept better last night. Not great, but better.

It is so weird.

Day Seven - Day Eleven Elimination Diet

The days have been busy cooking and getting a bit discouraged that this isn't going to work. We have had lots of weird stomach issues this past week that I don't know if they are from a 'bug' or the diet!

There is constipation, severe gas pains, and who knows what else.

My six year olds eczema is pretty bad. I had hoped that it would improve at least some by now.

I question whether this is right for us right now as we don't usually eat this many grains and beans. I have felt for a long time that more protein, veggies and minimal grains was better for us. So this just 'feels' wrong. But then again, the children did eat grains, just in different forms, so I don't know!!!

It is hard at times being responsible for their diet. Sometimes I wish I just didn't know what I know and we just went on like the rest of the world.

I also feel like the GAPS diet or the BED diet would be very beneficial for some of my children. We shall see.

Today's treat was coconut milk and blueberries blended then put in the ice cream machine! They loved it.

We have added protein in to our diet in the form of chicken, beef and fish. I just don't feel right about the all grain and bean vegetarian type diet. We are still keeping out all of the big allergy type foods, corn, wheat, soy, dairy, gluten, ect.

We did add citrus in this week and haven't seen any changes, but I also don't know what to look for!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Saturday Night Crash

This past week was outrageously busy. With all the cooking and trying to keep everyone in green smoothies and not 'starving', I was constantly on the go. Through into that a few trips to the store for more produce and a doctor appointment, and it was busy!

I am so thankful that I was able to keep up, for the most part. It felt so good to be doing all the 'doing' that needed to be done. It has been months, six to be exact.

I should not have been surprised, when on Saturday night, shortly after dinner I utterly and completely crashed! Exhaustion like I have not felt in a long time filled every cell of my body. I was shocked by how quickly it came over me.

The emotions began to get out of control as the tiredness took hold of me. I began to cry for absolutely no reason other than EVERYTHING felt too big.

I showered, and cried. I got my snuggly clothes, and cried. We went downstairs for our 'date', and I cried. I cried because I love Brian so much. I cried because I was hungry and didn't know what to eat. I cried . . .well, for anything and everything! ;-)

I didn't sleep that well, but not horribly either. I awoke so tired again. I have sort of forgotten that this and worse is how I felt for months! Obviously I need to take it slower, if possible this week.

I need to remember to praise Him for the ALL I was able to do and also praise Him for calling my to rest! That is the hard part. Don't we just want to do and do once given the opportunity? This is a journey. I am still learning how to rest. Just when I think I am getting somewhere with it, I push and push!

It is okay to rest! It is okay to slow! We cannot do it all, nor does HE expect us to. Let's take the burden off of ourselves and joyfully do only what He allows us to!

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: In returning [to Me] and resting [in Me] you shall be saved; in quietness and in [trusting] confidence shall be your strength. . . (Is 30:15)

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Thyroid Crashing

I went to the doctor again this week. I have noticed my resting heart rate is very low, in the 40s. Also, I feel like I am chasing my blood sugar a lot lately, even though I am eating very well. I simply cannot even fudge a little on waiting to eat. It has not been that bad in a long time.

I have also lowered my pituitary supplements, at his advice. He said to lower them slowly until we found the right amount. Well, I think we went a little too far, because the same sense of well being that came when I increased them left as I lowered them!

He had put me on some minor support for thyroid last time, but this time it is apparent that I needed something stronger, so he added a new thyroid supplement as well as increasing the pituitary supplements.

He said all the things I needed work on were pancreatic and endocrine, so it all made sense with the symptoms I was having.

I thought it might be beneficial to list all I take in the form of supplements, but I want to say that you simply cannot look at what one person takes and apply it to yourself! He muscle tests me for each and every supplement. When I was at my worst, he would test me for something that seemed great for me only to have me crash on two or three days later. (paradoxical reaction)

These are in no particular order.

Folate 5-plus (one a day)

Cytozyme PT/HPT (this is the pituitary support) (currently back up to 8 a day)

Gammonal Forte ( this goes with the PT/HPT) (currently back up to 8 a day)

Cytozyme AD (adrenal support) (3 a day)

Destress (2 in the morning and 2 at night)

Thyrostim (this is the first thyroid support he put me on)(three a day)

Glucobalance (this is just an all around great support) (3 a day)

Bio-Glycozyme (3 before bed)

Bio-D Mulsion (a great vitamin D) (2-6 drops daily)

GTA (recent addition) (one a day)

Optimal EFAs (six a day)

Iodine (6 drops, 2 times a day)

I also take a digestive enzyme with meals, when I remember ;-)

Occasionally I take Betaine with meals.

And, I cannot forget my beloved L-Tryptophan and Melatonin

Day Five and Six of the Elimination Diet

Things continue to go well, but we are getting a little weary of the somewhat bland diet. We have kept out some of the spices that we usually cook with, namely chili powder. We are trying all kinds of new flavor profiles, some we like, some we don't. I am pleased everyone, well almost everyone, is willing to try them.

Having the little children help in the kitchen is going a long way in getting them to try new things.

One thing we tried was roasted root vegetables. Sweet potato, turnips, carrots, onion, garlic, baby bok choy and mushrooms. NONE of us like turnips!

One thing we have been enjoying is having frozen blueberries and coconut milk for dessert.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Day Four Elimination Diet

Mama is fading fast. I seem to be coming down with what the others have had, severe headache and tummy issues. Well, for now it is just the headache, hopefully I won't be up all night in front of the toilet like my 19 year old son was! Poor guy.

The kids are amazing me with their eagerness to try new foods! Today it was Butternut Squash Soup. They would not have tried it willingly in the past. I am praising God, as I think if nothing else, this has so broadened their palates. They are so willing and want to be in the kitchen helping prepare these new meals. Today they loved drizzling coconut milk over their soup, they thought it was so cool to do it themselves.

Tonight's dinner was Summer Vegetable Kitcheree. I varied it a little bit as I didn't have some of the spices, but it was okay. I had chicken soup, trying to keep it bland for now.

My day:

Green Smoothie (spinach base)
1/4 cup sunflower seeds
2 over perfectly easy eggs! served over a tiny bit of our hash (haven't had eggs in a while, loved them!)
1 cup squash soup
some fish
Celery w/ sunbutter
Chicken soup and romaine salad

Not as much 'raw' as I wanted, but I did not feel well. The last couple of days I have been having a hard time eating enough and soon enough, before my blood sugar crashes. I have lowered my pituitary supplements slowly over the past week, and I wonder if this is the cause. I also woke up today with an old familiar 'heavy' feeling which goes away when my pituitary supplements are at their ideal level. I go to the doctors tomorrow so we will see if I dropped too many pills. It could just be an off day, busy week, extra stress and three very good feeling busy days! Hard to tell.

Oh, and while preparing the butternut squash for our soup, my hand slipped and I ripped my thumbnail so far down and half way off the nail bed! It is by far the worst and the lowest I have ever ripped a fingernail. I cried and walked in circles not knowing what to do. The littles followed me and hugged me, it was so sweet!

So, all in all, not a great day, but I serve a GREAT GOD who has new mercies for me in the morning, goodnight ;-)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Day Three Elimination Diet

Wow, is it only day three? I feel like I have been in the kitchen cleaning produce or soaking and cooking rice, quinoa and adzuki beans for weeks now! ;-)

Today went very well. Again, I am feeling so good, comparatively speaking. It feels like such a blessing to be able to be doing all this for my family, as it has been months of not being up to it! Thank you, Lord.

Smoothie for breakfast. They beg for these. We still are making them with tons of greens ,(organic romaine, organic spinach (yeah Costco) or kale) apples, pears and celery. Today I made one with blueberries and pears with the greens in addition to the original.

I try to drink a quart, the children drink until they can't drink anymore ;-)

I think they are hungrier sooner because I am trying to keep the smoothies 'pure' meaning no oils or seeds, as we are detoxing and doing the elimination diet. I do think when I add oils or young coconut water and meat they last a lot longer.

Brunch was more of the Yam and Adzuki Hash and rice and beans.

Then a couple of short hours later, more of anything leftover from the previous two days. . .

Then, carrots, celery and cucumbers with a tablespoon of sunbutter (sunflower seed butter).

Then, I had to beat them off with a carrot stick until dinner . . . which was . . .

absolutely fabulous, 'I could eat these everyday' Sunny Sunflower Seed Burgers from the Whole Life Nutrition Cookbook (not sure if the recipe is on their website) My husband LOVED them.

Basically they were sunflower seeds ( I soaked and dried them first for optimal nutrition) some spices, and cooked brown rice whazzed up in the food processor and formed into patties. I then 'fried' them in coconut oil. Delicious!

My daughters eczema is worse than ever, but I believe this is to be expected, as it may get worse before it gets better and the offending food needs to be out of the diet for more than three weeks.

As far as this adrenal fatigue mama and diet:

-1 quart smoothie (way more greens than low-glycemic fruit)
-1/4 cup sunflower seeds (soaked and dried)chicken, green apple, celery, cranberry salad with celery stalks
-(I crashed in the afternoon because I let myself get way to hungry, this is a big NO-NO for adrenal fatigue, I know this, but do it occasionally anyway!)
-Woofed down some fish and some sunflower seed and date balls.
-Dinner was a Sunflower Burger, lots of guacamole (yum) and green beans and a little more fish.

Okay, all adrenal fatiguers need to be in bed by 10:00 pm and it is now 10:14, so I am breaking another rule . . .I'm am off to bed!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Successful Day Two of Elimination Diet

Woo Hoo! I would say today went very well! Tons of smoothie making and cooking though ;-) My children are eating better than ever, and we already ate great. They love the Yam and Adzuki Hash.

For lunch I stir fried some veggies in olive oil, onion, garlic, broccoli, green beans, snow peas until tender. I add a little water to make a 'sauce' and served it over rice. (I do soak my rice according to Nourishing Traditions) They loved it, but did miss the Tamari sauce.

Dinner was a Lentil and Rice casserole from The Whole Life Nutrition Cookbook. The reviews were good. I thought it was a bit bland, but I like things 'spicy'.

I did not eat it as I am sticking to the way I have been eating which is veggies and protein! Today I had Atlantic Cod (from Costco, it is awesome) and a salad with lemon and olive oil. The lemon is not on the elimination diet, but I don't think I have a problem with citrus.

I felt so much better eating the way I normally do. I am glad I tried the smoothies for a day, but it was certainly a closed door for this adrenal fatigued mama!

Brian did his second green smoothie day and did well.

I was so happy to be buzzing around in the kitchen all day. It felt a little like the old me, though I still tire easily. I can tell I am getting better ever since early December when my doctor put me back on some pituitary supplements and my diet was way more focused on no carbs again. That is pretty much how I have eaten since last February, but you know there are 'mess ups' here and there where I get off track. By God's grace I sailed through the holidays with very little sugar, praise God!

I also think the addition of some thyroid supplements and some essential oils last week will help, I just haven't been taking them regularly. :-(

I so want to do a separate post on what I feel green smoothies have done for me.

So, my diet today:

Green Smoothie (romaine, pear and blueberry)
Chicken, celery, cranberries, green apple (salad)
Kombucha (love it!)
Cod and salad
Enjoying a final glass of Kombucha as I type!

Elimination Diet day 2

Yesterday feels like it was awful! I felt terrible most of the day. Kind of like a blood sugar feeling all day. Had a bad headache at night. Felt like I was chasing hunger all day which is what it felt like when I was at my worst. I think the high fruit content (even though I use way less) was too high for me with adrenal fatigue.

The children fared pretty well. They were 'starving' all day. Do you know how many greens it takes to keep a family this size in green smoothies all day? A LOT! ;-) I felt like I made smoothies all day, which I did, of course.

I did make some Healing Quinoa Cabbage Soup that is on the elimination diet and everybody was thrilled to have solid food! They ate it without any complaints!

Today we are proceeding as if it were day three for the rest of the family, meaning only a green smoothie for breakfast and elimination diet food the rest of the day.

Me, on the other hand, well, we are still praying, but I need the protein I think. Also, the elimination diet is way too high in carbs for me. Even though they are complex carbs, it is way more than I have eaten in about a year.

My diet has mostly consisted of:

1/2 to 1 whole apple
Pink grapefruit
Meat, organic, free range
and Vegetables
and good fats

That is it! No grains, no legumes, no sugar and minimal fruit carbs. It is basically a very low carb way of eating. I believe I feel the best when I follow this to the letter. So, I am thinking, even though the diet provides complex carbs and veggies (no protein from meat though) it will not work for me. Brian is doing fine on it, but he doesn't have adrenal fatigue with the blood sugar issues I have.

I have fasted in the past and done cleanses, but this feels different. I don't feel well eating this way. Also, I can't possibly be 'detoxing' that much because I already didn't eat sugars, junk and carbs. So, I just don't know. Am praying and trusting God to lead me.

I am still pursuing eating as much 'raw' as I can. I have been studying the raw diet, but can't get past the protein needs I believe someone with adrenal fatigue has. I could be wrong, and am praying for wisdom. I really want what 'they' the raw foodists are selling! Health and energy!

Oh, one really cool thing to come out of this is today I made Yam and Adzuki Bean Hash for brunch and everyone gobbled it up! You have to know that Yams! and Beans! for breakfast would not fly in this house. I guess there is benefit to 'starving' your children! ;-) Also, I think any complaint ever about anything I serve with come with a swift, "okay, green smoothie day for your tomorrow!"

Monday, January 11, 2010

Day One Elimination Diet

Today we begin, as a family, the Elimination diet. I was so excited and really felt the Lord leading us to this. We all prayed and let Him lead it. That is my consolation right now as I listen to "I am hungry", "is there anything else I can eat?" "what do get to eat in two days?"

Also, my two year old is having tummy troubles again which has resulted in a horrible diaper rash. My 17 year old's tummy and head don't feel well either. I am very hungry and wonder if it is okay to be doing this with my adrenal fatigue. I have to trust that God has led this, but I am continually crying out for wisdom with each turn here today.

It is 12:18 pm and I have made at least seven blender-fulls of smoothies! Keeping a family this size in green smoothies is proving to be pretty time consuming. I just realized, it might sound like I am complaining. I am not! Really, there is grace, just giving you a 'real' picture.

For the first two days we are supposed to only consume green smoothies. We do believe that the littles might need more and are willing to give them some rice, beans and quinoa if needed, but so far, they are doing great.

The two year old is eating rice, applesauce and bananas, in an effort to firm up his bowel movements. Bananas are not on the elimination diet, but we are not so concerned about him.

I also need to make sure everyone is drinking enough water, which I have found that if you give a kid a straw they will drink anything, and copious amounts too.

Main reasons we are doing this:

A couple of the children have eczema, one pretty severe that has not responded to taking out wheat and/or dairy.

Some of the children have 'elimination' problems, meaning they take way too long to go and don't always go regularly. Some go very infrequently and have a hard time of it.

One has some pretty bad attention problems.

The others are along for the ride. It is a very healing diet for the next several weeks, so we all can benefit from it. I do think there may even be some spiritual issues that will be addressed during this time.

We have an inside family joke going with this. Whatever symptom or ailment someone brings to me they get the same response, "you need the elimination diet". It might be a tummy ache, an earache, a sore foot, a blister from their boots, selfishness, pride, you name it, I am convinced (and trying to convince them ;-) that the elimination diet will cure it!

I might update later to let you know if we are surviving or not!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Health Update

Still feeling pretty good! I have had a few MINOR crashes, but have handled some pretty busy, out of my control days.

I have been seeking the Lord on any changes to our/my diet. I have added green smoothies, just fruits and greens, for almost a week now. I think I might be feeling better from them. I think they are going to help in the 'elimination' area, if you know what I mean. I think things are still trying to balance out. I have been doing tons of reading on green smoothies and trying to incorporate more raw foods into our diet. I really don't think the Lord is leading me to a completely raw diet, as this conflicts with much of what He has shown me, but I do see great benefit to increasing the raw and possibly for a short healing season. I am walking with great caution though, because I don't want to undo all that has been done in the healing department.

Starting on Monday, January 11, 2010 our whole family will be doing a 28-day elimination diet in the hope of discovering some food allergies or sensitivities. It can be daunting, being in charge of healthfully feeding this crew and then throw in some health issues and it gets big in a hurry! Thank God I have Him and His wisdom to guide.

We, as a family have been praying about it and unless the Lord closes the door, we will start! Part of the 'fleece' was that it would all fall into place because we know that me being stressed or overwhelmed from it would mean a closed door. Well, He laid it all out for me and I am really excited to begin, I mean from the preparing department.

Lord willing, I will update if there is an interest.

This is the website that I am closely following. The Whole Life Nutrition Kitchen I bought their book months ago, love how the Lord prepares me, and we are following their elimination diet.

Friday, January 1, 2010

"Me" is coming back

I just wanted to quick post that since Wednesday of this past week I have felt a tremendous peace and joy! Now, it is not like it is when I am 'normal' but it is such a stark difference than how I have been feeling!

I love feeling like 'me'. I told you, I am happy, joyful, hopeful, excited, passionate. Oh, and the peace and quiet thing is a new thing for me. Wednesday I should have been pretty out of it considering the past two days events, but I wasn't. I woke up feeling hope and joy. I was able to have an unbelievable wonderful morning with the children. I spoke softly. I was patient. I was not 'bugged' by all the things that were not done, I just went about, enlisting help gently and we got things done.

The joy and hope has continued. I am so thankful! I know it is lots of GRACE, but I also wonder how much the adding back in of the tryptophan was a factor. I don't care, it just feels good to feel good!!

Wouldn't it be great of 2010 was the year of the "return of me"? I don't mean like self, or that there is anything wonderful about 'me', I just mean to feel like the 'me' God created!

Praising God for His mercy and goodness, in the valleys and on the mountaintops.