Friday, August 28, 2009

Friday, August 28, 2009

This week has been up and down. Last night was really bad. Little stress caused me to have an anxiety attack. It is so strange because you cannot control what your body does and how it reacts to stress.

It is that I have no reserves to handle stress and my body reacts to it, somehow bypassing my mind.

On Wednesday, I was encouraged by my Dr. appt. He confirmed that, yes, I did have adrenal exhaustion. I was also encouraged as he said he was taking is slowly as to not overwhelm my adrenals with supplements which is exactly what I read about.

My B vitamins are completely depleted. He has me on two different kinds every waking hour.

He kept my adrenal supplements the same, like I said to address them slowly.

Preparation phase. This phase normally lasts 2-6 weeks. During this time, the body normally does not feel any significant difference even though nutrients have been administered. One continues to feel fatigue. This is the phase where the body builds its lost reserve and internally gets stronger. It is not infrequent to feel even feel worse from time to time. Paradoxical reactions may arise during this time and adjustments of nutrients may be needed. It may involve increasing or decreasing the dose, depending on the body type and sensitivity level. Strategies that do not allow the body to go through this important preparation stage often fail over time, as the body simply does not have the reserve it normally needs to cushion itself against stressful time. Small dips within the recovery cycle will then occur. It is like forcing an athlete to run a sprint without adequate warm up. (Dr.

Still not sleeping well, I have an appt. today and hope to get that addressed.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Monday, August 24, 2009

Sunday night was probably the worst I have slept in weeks. It was what has been normal for me for the past several years, but lately I have been better. I was up every 2-3 hours.

I woke up feeling a little better this morning. I did T-Tapp More workout, which felt great.

I ate eggs and oatmeal for breakfast and played with my baby for an hour on the floor.

I got very tired and took a nap around 10:30. I was so anxious and had a hard time sleeping because of it. I wondered if this was a 'paradoxical reaction'.

Had dr. appt., took me off Organic 15, tested bad for it (again after testing good last week)
*gave me a B vitamin to take 2 pills every hour and let him know how I feel tomorrow.

Had a terrible afternoon, felt about as bad as I have since this all started.

Better now (7:30 pm) Family is gone to Costco. The quiet is nice, but I miss them.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Saturday, August 22, 2009 (update)

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Spent most of the day on the computer which must mean I am better because a week ago I could care a less if I ever saw a computer again.

Still weak and fatigued and unable to go about life as normal, though I did make mayo for our dinner. But I did end up crying over something that didn't go right in the kitchen;-)

Had a meltdown at night. Crying over the weight gain, how long it will take to get better and questioning if we have the right doctor. It actually was a panic/anxiety attack. They are very strange in the way that I (my mind) knows that it is irrational and unreasonable, and I know that God is in control and orders my every step. Yet, my body just takes over and gets out of control. I can't catch my breath and if I don't talk myself down I fear I am going to pass out from hyperventilation.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Explaining the Name of the Blog

I chose this name for my blog, He makes me lie down . . . a journey of healing because, in part, I feel the Lord has been "making me lie down" in one form or another for many years. I would have to say that He has my attention now.

I believe that part of the reasoning behind this adrenal fatigue is that I do not slow down. It seems like it has been part of the lessons He has been giving me for years. Whether it be slowing down to enjoy my children, only taking on what He has for me, ect.

For a long time my prayer and desire has been to have a calm and undisturbed mind and heart as described in Proverbs 14:30. I know that this verse, for me, answers how to have a strong body as well as God's answer to the stresses of this world.

We hear so much about stress and it's effect on our health. I feel as though the Lord has been showing me that if I have a calm and undisturbed mind and heart I won't be stressed.

Sounds so easy, doesn't it? Not! It looks good on paper, but how to flesh this out every day?! How to run this household, disciple these children, love my husband, be a friend, a daughter, all this with a calm and undisturbed mind???

So, back to the name, I feel like this adrenal fatigue is God's way to 'make' me lie down. To quiet me long enough to hear what He has been saying, to answer my prayers and desires that my busyness and plowing through has made it hard to hear.

I have been crying out to Him even more than usual lately, not just because it is the only thing I can do ;-), but because I DO NOT want to be the same when this is all said and done! I want to be different. I want to slow down. I want to listen to His voice, not my own. I want to be completely surrendered to His will. Content and at peace with where He has me, not where I wish I was or doing what I want to do, but His will.

I cannot even begin to explain how so many of my desires and prayers are answered in what I believe He is showing me through all of this. He has stripped me of all ability to 'fight' Him anymore. Last Sunday while taking a nap I cried out to Him and said, "I'm done, I mean it, You win!" I felt as though He must of sighed and whispered, "finally."

Adrenal Resources

A couple of thoughts from all I have been reading on adrenal fatigue.

Any one of the incidents I mentioned in my last post can cause adrenal fatigue.

Surely, what has happened to me in the last 5-6 weeks has set me on a fast track to reaching Adrenal Exhaustion.

Here are a couple of websites that I found helpful explaining the symptoms of Adrenal Fatigue

30 Symptoms of Adrenal Fatigue

Adrenal Fatigue Center

A book that I bought a long time ago that I wish I had paid more attention to is called

Adrenal Fatigue: The 21st century stess syndrome

I do think this book is very helpful for informing you and the very early stages of adrenal fatigue. Please listen to what the man says before it is too late. I believe that the stage I am in is too late for self-directed care, but those in the early stages would probably greatly benefit from the information from this book. Extremely well written and easy to understand.

How It All Began

I decided to start this blog to journal this journey the Lord has me on toward healing. I have no idea if I will even have time or energy to post or even how often, but here goes.

I have Adrenal Fatigue, actually Adrenal Exhaustion (stage 3). This is probably the best description that I have found of Adrenal Exhaustion.

I will try not to bore you with my health history, but I feel it is important to share the details in the hope that other women might see themselves and seek treatment. My heart is for women, especially Mamas, to be informed and healthy. There is so much misinformation out there and I wish I knew 20 years ago what I know now.

I am 43 years old, extremely happily married and a mama to nine children here on earth as well as five in heaven.

Facts I believe have contributed to or caused my Adrenal Fatigue:

*eating according to the Standard American Diet (SAD) for most of my life.

*several babies and c-sections (while not taking care of myself nutritionally) I would NEVER blame having babies for the Lord for my sickness! It was how I took care of myself, not having the babies!!

*always 'pushing through' even against medical advice.

*in the year 2000, our family experienced a horrible trauma that continued on for about five or six years, and in all reality, continues on a smaller scale to this day. The extreme stress of those years took a significant toll on my body. I continued on with life as usual, what else could I do with several children and homeschooling?

*chronic pain for the last 10 years.

*unable to sleep more than 2-3 hours at a time

My doctor has been passively treating me for Adrenal Fatigue for several years now. Nothing real serious, just sort of keeping me going.

Something changed as of July 17, 2009.

After eating out the night before ( don't know if this is relevant, had horrible chicken) the following day I was very sick to my stomach and extremely weak. To the point of not being able to exercise, which is very unusual for me.

This nausea, weakness and dizziness continued on for about two weeks off and on. We wondered if it was an ectopic pregnancy. I finally had blood work done that really showed nothing.

Severe diarrhea started out of the blue and lasted for about 4 days. When I say severe, I mean 10-15 times a day, especially after I ate.

This left me very weak and dehydrated. The nausea and dizziness continued on.

Then major unexplained anxiety attacks as well extremely emotional. Crying at everything and nothing at the same time.

Four days later I went to my doctor and he gave me some natural supplements to support the apparent hormone issues as well as my adrenals. I actually went from bad to worse as the week went on.

I woke with a severe pain in my neck on Sunday, August 9, 2009. Monday I went to my doctor, he adjusted my neck and tested me for all the supplements I was on. My body was basically screaming NO to most of the supplements I was on, including the ones just a week earlier I tested strong on. This at first seemed odd, but now makes perfect sense as I see my body was shutting down and had a "paradoxical reaction" to the new supplements I was on.

The pain in my neck would not heal, I continued to be very emotional and anxious. It felt like I was inside my body, but I was somehow removed. I am sure it is some form of depression, but it is really wierd. For the first time in my life I simply could not push through. It was not because I didn't want to, but I just could not!

I am still very tired, weak and emotional.

I went to the doctors again a couple of days later, added some different supplements, adjusted my neck again.

For the next two days my dear sweet husband took me away to a hotel to rest and be away from the stress and my wonderful mother took care of the children while we were gone. I rested and slept and cried. After the first day my anxiousness settled down some.

When I came home I was able to have an enjoyable afternoon with the children and took a 2 hour nap, which was unusual for me, as I have only been able to sleep for 20-30 minutes at a time. My neck did start to feel better, finally. I did find out later that unexplained neck or upper back pain is part of this deal.

I also have begun to notice some hair loss, not handfuls by any stretch of the imagination, but way more than I ever do. I don't even lose hair postpartum.

Two other facts that may or may not be relevent are that I have, for the first time in my life, missed my period last month. I mean the first time that I was not pregnant. ;-)

Also, two days before all of this started I finished my second round of a Modified Simeons Diet that my doctor put me on to not only help me lose weight that I absolutely could not no matter how clean my diet has been for years and no matter how much I exercised, but to also heal my pituitary gland. (please don't ask about this diet as it is something him and a collegue of his came up with, it is not available from other doctors as far as I know)

While I one thousand percent trust the Lord lead me to do this, I do wonder if the rapid weight loss and strict diet, though very organic and healthful, in some way was too much stress for my body to handle.

During this exact time frame someone extremely close to me was going through some very significant marital problems and this began to affect me physically more than ever before. Also, God basically offered to 'give' us our dream of living on a farm in Kentucky. So, I don't know if all the stress involved with these two things played a part in this acceleration of my adrenal fatigue or not. Surely it couldn't have helped.

This is just the physical aspect of this journey. There is much more spiritual applications that I hope to share. I don't know about you, but with me and God it is never as simple as one dimension.