Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Update 10/27/09

I went to the doctor yesterday and was a little discouraged that my adrenals have seemingly taken a step backwards. I am thankful that the 'symptoms' aren't any worse, but my body is definitely not handling things well.

Also, some spiritual things came up. He was taking my blood pressure in hopes to find out something about my inability to sleep well and it just kept going lower and lower. He was waiting for it to bottom out. A certain topic (that I will certainly share as the Lord reveals more to me) came up and while I was laying there my blood pressure went way up! I did not 'feel' upset, but my body was responding in a negative way. Once again confirming that even when we don't 'feel' stress our body is still be stressed out! He pointed out that there is something to deal with there. I am anxious to see what it is.

He has me not taking naps, which is not good for someone with adrenal fatigue, because SLEEP is what you need for your body to heal. I am not sleeping well at night still and he hopes to MAKE my body sleep by not letting it sleep during the day.

It is not working, yet. I am sleeping worse at night and am actually having some type of anxiety symptoms as I am trying to sleep. Not ones that I think in my head, but my heart races a bit. These I think are once again "paradoxical reactions" like I experienced early in this illness. My body desperately needs rest, but responds the exact opposite way! I have taken a few short naps as I am exhausted.

I continue to marvel at the spiritual aspect of this, and most of that I share on my other blog, She Looketh Well.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Update 10/20/09

I went to the doctor this week and he was very pleased with the way my body is responding to the supplements that are treating my adrenal fatigue. He gave me great hope that, yes indeed I am on my way to healing. He encouraged me not to change my activity too much, but that he had hope for a full recovery. (Which makes me wonder just how concerned he was)
I have felt significantly better in the last week or so. I can have three or four good days before a major crash, which is a great improvement. The challenge is still knowing just how much my body can take.
Last week I walked five days out of seven. The first two were 15 minute walks, and the last three were 30 minute walks! This is all after doing nothing, and I mean nothing, in the form of exercise, or even moving further than from the couch to the bed to the bathroom. ;-) Great improvement, I think!
The severe hypoglycemia has become much easier to manage, I suspect due to the miscarriage. One thing that was a struggle was a 5-7 pound weight gain (this after losing a lot of weight this past year) I was so relieved to find out that, more than likely, most of it was from carrying a precious baby! The best reason for weight gain, right?
My emotions are still across the board, varying daily. Depression is still a factor some days. My family conUtinues to take great care of me! God continues to carry me, speak to me daily, listens as I cry my heart out and then gently puts me on the right path again. I still struggle with this forced rest, but am learning so much and so thankful for all God is doing in all of us.
From the beginning, I have been uncomfortable sharing too much about my health, as I feel the Lord's purpose for this blog is to encourage my daughters and women to 'look well to the ways of their households' so I put a link on the sidebar to the blog I started to track my journey to healing from this adrenal fatigue. (I had read it is wise to document the progress as it is a long, up and down journey.) I don't update it as frequently as I should, and most of what I have already shared on this blog is on that one. I know some of you are really praying for me and are interested, for which I am so thankful. When I update that blog, I will put the date in the sidebar that I did so.
Obviously, I will continue to share what the Lord is showing me, I just don't want to 'bog' this blog down with all the health details. Make sense?

Friday, October 16, 2009

Update 10/16/09

It has been a long time since I updated and a lot has happened. The first week in October was a horrible week as far as the depression goes. Brian was very concerned and very weary. He called my friend and mom for prayer and was having a hard time holding back the tears. I think my hormones were all over the place as we now know that my baby probably died that week. Here is the post about our miscarriage.

Sad News . . .
Last Thursday (10/8/09), in about a 2 1/2 hour time frame, we found out that I was 10-12 weeks pregnant, that the baby had died, and I delivered him/her. It was quite shocking to us and we were, and are at times stunned.

I was spotting off and on for about a week and a half, which we thought was my cycle starting up again, as they had stopped in the middle of this adrenal exhaustion, or so we thought. I did take a pregnancy test in August, which was negative. According to how far along I was, it should have been positive. (I have never had a false negative pregnancy test, and I have taken a ton ;-)
Thursday morning I was on my way to the grocery store when I had a strong urge to go to the bathroom. (We also thought I had been dealing with a bladder infection during this time) I went and was still uncomfortable, but proceeded with what I needed to get. About 4 aisles over, the pain, which felt like my bladder, got pretty bad and I thought I should probably go home. At that time, I felt a huge pop and preceded to bleed everywhere. For some reason I thought maybe I passed a kidney stone, which I supposedly have. I made a beeline for the back bathroom, leaving a trail behind me. Not one of the more glorious moments of being a woman. ;-)
I was able to have cellphone reception, (which is usually sketchy, at best, in this store) and called my dear husband. He came and bought me pads and underwear. Thank God I had a skirt on, pants would have been a nightmare. We left the store after several trips back to the bathroom, as I was bleeding profusely.
On the way home, it hit me that the 'pop' I felt was just like what I felt with my 7th child, the only other one with whom my water broke. And then I realized that the 'blood trail' looked watered down. The shock of realizing that I must have been pregnant was, well, shocking.
We got home and because the bleeding was so bad, we called my midwife, who instructed us to come in and she would check me and run some tests. When we got there, she examined me and found that the baby had already started to deliver, she just helped it along. She cried with us. She has been such a big part of the birth of our last five baby's births.

After some blood work, we went home to rest. As I lie there trying to rest with my mind swirling with prayers and questions, one thing welled up in my heart so big. I believe this baby was a gift from God. I also believe He gave me the gift of joy that afternoon. You see, I realized that each and every pregnancy in the past was greatly rejoiced over and I was determined, by His grace, that this was not going to be any different! I chose right then and there to rejoice over this precious little one, even though this baby had died. I rejoiced in the fact that God chose me to carry this little one, if only for a short time. I believe this joy was a gift from Him, there is no way a women in my condition physically and emotionally could do that in her own strength, trust me. He is so amazing and kind to give joy to a confused and grieving mama. I guess you can truly say that He has 'made me a joyful mother of children'. I am humbled and marvel at His love for me.
Even now as I type this out it seems so unbelievable to me. How does a woman who has been pregnant 14 times previous to this not know she was pregnant? The negative pregnancy test and the extreme extenuating health circumstances played a huge part, I know. We also believe, for some reason, I was not meant to know about this until that day. Where we don't understand, we can only trust.