Saturday, August 22, 2009

Explaining the Name of the Blog

I chose this name for my blog, He makes me lie down . . . a journey of healing because, in part, I feel the Lord has been "making me lie down" in one form or another for many years. I would have to say that He has my attention now.

I believe that part of the reasoning behind this adrenal fatigue is that I do not slow down. It seems like it has been part of the lessons He has been giving me for years. Whether it be slowing down to enjoy my children, only taking on what He has for me, ect.

For a long time my prayer and desire has been to have a calm and undisturbed mind and heart as described in Proverbs 14:30. I know that this verse, for me, answers how to have a strong body as well as God's answer to the stresses of this world.

We hear so much about stress and it's effect on our health. I feel as though the Lord has been showing me that if I have a calm and undisturbed mind and heart I won't be stressed.

Sounds so easy, doesn't it? Not! It looks good on paper, but how to flesh this out every day?! How to run this household, disciple these children, love my husband, be a friend, a daughter, all this with a calm and undisturbed mind???

So, back to the name, I feel like this adrenal fatigue is God's way to 'make' me lie down. To quiet me long enough to hear what He has been saying, to answer my prayers and desires that my busyness and plowing through has made it hard to hear.

I have been crying out to Him even more than usual lately, not just because it is the only thing I can do ;-), but because I DO NOT want to be the same when this is all said and done! I want to be different. I want to slow down. I want to listen to His voice, not my own. I want to be completely surrendered to His will. Content and at peace with where He has me, not where I wish I was or doing what I want to do, but His will.

I cannot even begin to explain how so many of my desires and prayers are answered in what I believe He is showing me through all of this. He has stripped me of all ability to 'fight' Him anymore. Last Sunday while taking a nap I cried out to Him and said, "I'm done, I mean it, You win!" I felt as though He must of sighed and whispered, "finally."

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